Dying Inside

(written in 1998/age 16) by: M.A.H.


Burn the shadow of desire.
The lights are bright and clear.
The small shape of hope is clinging to me.
Foolish.
Yes I have been foolish, strange, delusioned, and careless.
No one needs me here.
All I do is hurt everyone.
Sometimes I wonder if this world would be better off if I was gone.
It probably would.
I am not needed nor wanted.
That kinda hurts. If only I gave a damn.
Why can't I show them how I really feel?
I feel so hollow inside.
I have always screwed everything up.
I've lost the people I've loved.
What the hell is wrong with me?
Maybe if I just left everyone alone we would all be better off.
Oh god I ache so bad.
So bad for someone just to hold me and tell me they'll never leave me.
Am I that hard to love?
Why do I always wind up pushing everyone away?
Why do I cry myself to sleep each night?
Why do I even try?
God I feel like I'm dying inside.......

Justify

Twisted tears
Fall from my cheeks
The landmine of thoughts
Flow thru me

Hollow soul
Crowded mind
Chaos erupts
I bide my time

Everlasting fingerprints
Shows me the truth
Forgive me now
For I awake
I bid thee farewell
I hope it’s not too late