For The Moment

There's not much time left
I can feel my sanity slowly slipping away once more
One day it will not return
I'm afraid
The peaceful quiet of the middle of the night soothes my broken mind
No voices, no tv's, no cars passing by
My thoughts are finally my own
It's like all of a sudden the flood gates are opened and it's all pouring out
No interruptions
Images swim to the surface and swirl around me like plastic candy wrappers in the wind
The words float endlessly in the air like pineapple scented bubbles.
The minutes tick by leaving me panicked

Dying Inside

(written in 1998/age 16) by: M.A.H.


Burn the shadow of desire.
The lights are bright and clear.
The small shape of hope is clinging to me.
Foolish.
Yes I have been foolish, strange, delusioned, and careless.
No one needs me here.
All I do is hurt everyone.
Sometimes I wonder if this world would be better off if I was gone.
It probably would.
I am not needed nor wanted.
That kinda hurts. If only I gave a damn.
Why can't I show them how I really feel?
I feel so hollow inside.
I have always screwed everything up.
I've lost the people I've loved.
What the hell is wrong with me?
Maybe if I just left everyone alone we would all be better off.
Oh god I ache so bad.
So bad for someone just to hold me and tell me they'll never leave me.
Am I that hard to love?
Why do I always wind up pushing everyone away?
Why do I cry myself to sleep each night?
Why do I even try?
God I feel like I'm dying inside.......

Justify

Twisted tears
Fall from my cheeks
The landmine of thoughts
Flow thru me

Hollow soul
Crowded mind
Chaos erupts
I bide my time

Everlasting fingerprints
Shows me the truth
Forgive me now
For I awake
I bid thee farewell
I hope it’s not too late

Untitled

Tears falling
Silence
Another one bites the dust as they say
I wish it wasn't that way

Melancholy Moodlizard Delight

  All talk, no show.
Never emerging from the cocoon
  that is your prison.
Don't try to tell me you're safer there.
  Don't try to tell me you like it.

(by: M.A.H.)